Religion or Relationship and marriage

Religion or Relationship - check out this post as well.

Sometimes I wish it were about Religion instead of Relationship... Religion is so much easier in a sense. It's clear, that's what it is. If you do this...  than... - garanteed.

If I read my bible and pray everyday than I'll be a good christian. 

Anybody think like that? I certainly do. 

But if I apply this same logic to my marriage for example it doesn't work as well. 

If I am slim and well dressed every day, my husband will always find me attractive.
If I cook the meals and keep the house clean, my husband will always feel loved.
If I tell my husband all the time how great he is and how much I appreciate and love him, he will always feel important.

Although all of these activities are good to do, none of them garantee the same outcome each time.

Can we earn a good marriage? 

I seriously believe we could do everything right and still there will be no garantees of a good marriage. Why? Because every relationship takes 2 people to make it work. It's not about doing everything right, it's about 2 people wanting to make it work and taking the time and making the effort to invest in the relationship. And people need different things at different times. 

We humans are complex creatures (how can we be anything less when we're created in God's image!). We often don't even understand ourselves, let alone our partner. So how can a simple bunch of rules be enough to garantee anything? 

A relationship requires more. It requires making an effort to see the other person: his needs, wants, desires, wishes, joys, trials, insecurities, accomplishments, character - warts and all. Relationship also requires us to act on what we see, to use what we see in our interaction with the other person.

Relationship doesn't have a 'one-size-fit-all'. It's custom-made. Every relationship is unique simply because every person is unique and wonderfully made. 

So, no garantees, no easy answers, no 'if you do this... than...'. We cannot earn a good relationship with Jesus any more than we can earn a good marrital relationship by doing everything right (religion). (Isn't that a pity? Now I have to actually think about my relationships, not just once, not just at the beginning, but regularly and for as long as the relationship lasts.)

Jesus stands at the door to our hearts and knocks (Revelation 3:20). He wants to be in our hearts, in the place that controls our lives, our very essense, who we are. He doesn't want a superficial, let's drink tea together in the living room relationship. He wants to be at the core of who we are (read an excellent sermon from WestHighLands on giving God control here. Also, a must-watch short sketch from OneTimeBlind callen 'The Stool'.). 

If we choose to let Him in, He will eat with us (His initiative) and we with Him (our response). Mealtimes weren't the rush jobs they often are these days. In New Testament times "mealtime was a time of doctrine, fellowship, the breaking of bread, and prayers!" (read an article by David Black on this subject here)

Relationships are hard work sometimes and a soft cushion to fall other times. But they are also endlessly more rewarding than anything we achieve simply by following the rules.